i don't just see with my eyes

I know the internet is packed full beyond capacity of blogs of every sort….. but I have decided to add another category to “i don’t just see with my eyes” blog - –  HOMESCHOOLING HOPE. As you can see from my last post…. I haven’t been blogging. I have been homeschooling my 13-year-old son Cameron. Yes. I know – - I can hear the “whats and whys” as your eyes bug a bit. WHY when there are perfectly great schools with a stellar honors program. WHAT made you think you should or could do it. WHY does your 13-year-old even want his mom to be his teacher? WHAT can be so bad that would make you stop your daily routine and personal projects to try to teach a hormonal moody confused boy? WHY is your son so unhappy? I don’t have answers to all of these questions. I don’t even think Cameron’s story is mine to share, in detail, on a blog. But I will share this, one day when I was at the point of tears and prayers and fear that my son wasn’t even resembling himself that a friend shared information about an online private school in Pleasant Grove, UT and the Spirit directed me that this was the next step we needed to take. After prayer, counseling with my husband and a visit to the temple – we presented Liahona Prep Academy distance education online program to Cameron. He was willing and ready.

We set up a desk, a computer and took a few weeks to heal. We visited campus and got to know the program. We went rock climbing. Cameron read a lot (finishing the Work and the Glory series). Then, over 12 weeks ago, we started to try to establish a routine and school began. Some days have been some of the most heart wrenching spirit stretching moments of my life. Then there have with increasing frequency, as of late, times during the day when I have connected with my brilliant and strong son and seen a part of who he really is. I am being taught things about myself I never intended or thought would come from this experience. I can be controlling and a perfectionist. I fear being wrong. So I have prayed to be filled with understand and charity. I have prayed to know how to teach my son even though I have a teaching degree – - so different with your own child. I have been grateful for friends that have taken my tearful phone calls and encouraged me when I thought I couldn’t do one more day.

This blog is not going to rank up there with #1 site for great lesson plans or tips on how to get your son to like poetry. I hope this is a place where I can share honest limitations, ideas and lessons I am learning through the great gift of homeschooling. The first lesson I have learned is – - don’t judge other parents because you never know when you will be in their place making those same decisions. I never visualized I would be homeschooling Cameron. I know he probably never dreamed it as well. Together we bump into each other a lot and we have had some hard times trusting each other – but we are getting better everyday. Nephi built a ship when he didn’t know how. I trust that if I continue to go to my Father in Heaven, he will tell me first where to find the ore – to make the tools – to then start the ship. Mothers are here to do the work of God so I pray that His spirit will work through me. My prayer is that this time is a game changer for Cameron and a course correction for my emotional and spiritual progression. Just like climbing a wall, I slip and sometimes I find just the right spot for my foot and eventually I make progression to the top. Cameron said it perfectly when he yelled up the wall at me, “Trust me mom you are going to be fine!” Maybe he is right!

QUESTION: What is something you are doing right now that you never thought you would?